I realised that I've been a happy person when I'm around people. And like what Yus said, I've never really showed emotions. I figured something out. I don't really have anyone that I can share everything with. A person who can thoroughly bear with my stories. The one person that I thought could bear with me have proven to be not. She'd rather listen to other people's stories rather than my own. That hurts me real bad. When she ask me to shut up and tell me to tell my friends my stories instead of her. And the next minute she tells me she can't wait to meet __ cuz she wants to share stories. I start to think. If people cannot stand my stories when I'm happy how can they bear with me when I tell them my sad ones? They say we should not only share our sadness but also happiness with the people around us. But I've been sharing my happiness so where am I supposed to put my sorrows? Who am I supposed to tell my stories about V, H and J without them rolling their eyes and replying whatever to me. Who am I supposed to ask what should I do about them? Those are the happy ones and it doesn't affect me that much if they are responding like that cuz when I'm happy I usually don't care. But then I think. What if there are times when I'm so down yet I don't know how I should gauge their response. Will they respond the same way? Will they tell me to shut up and go "Whatever, we all have shit going on so why not you just shut up?" Of course I've never been the kind who show when I'm sad or tell people when I'm having a bad day. But what if there is THAT one time when I'm at loss? What if there is THAT one time when I desperately need to let it out? I guess I'll just have to keep my stories to myself since no one wants to listen to them and find ways to keep my sorrows away. Oh don't worry (I know you won't). I'll be fine. Like I said, you'll never see me showing my sad self to the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment